Double Sided Mania
by Scopes'nScalpels
Summary: First add two sets of each team. Toss in a Tentaspy and shake vigorously. Serve as is, sit back and watch the madness unfold.
1. Chapter 1

This is just a little RP a friend and I are working one, and we figured it would be fun to turn it into a fanfiction! Excuse the wonky paragraphs, it may still need some editing if I feel like it |D

Don't own TF2 or any class mentioned here. We do, however, own all the people we've stuck in their clothes~

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><p>A BLU medic scowled, tuggin on the collar of a bloodstained blue coat and grimacing. The good thing about being a worker for Builder's League United was that there were plenty of parts to play with. The bad thing? Nowhere for a girl to get clean in peace! The Medic sighed again, tugging at the hair band on shoulder-length brown hair and readjusted the grip on her syringe gun. She couldn't take any chances with French Perverts around. Especially since she had remembered a lake nearby that might be a better place to bathe than community showers where a cloaked spy could hang around waiting to see certain people.<p>

The bottom of the lake outside 2Fort was comfier than one would think. The Ex-BLU Spy rested in a crevice he had found, watching the sun reflect off of the top of the water. It was actually rather pretty, if he hadn't spent the last two years of his life looking at the exact same scene. He sighed and rose above the water, though he only exposed above his shoulders. At the moment, he wasn't wearing his Spy uniform and he shook his hair out of his face, though it simply smacked him in the eye and stuck more securely to his face. A grumble and brief struggle with said hair resulted, ending with him giving up when he had gotten most of it out of the way. Damn hair never cooperated anyway.

On the other side of the lake, a small girl Scout and a RED Medic walked up. The girl walked up to the lake and started to remove her clothing. "Ahh Etha! Dun't do that!" Said the Medic shielding his eyes… sort of. The girl laughed and continued her stripping. She waded into the lake and dunked her long red hair under the clear water. She sighed and grabbed the glasses off the floor of the lake and through them at the Medic who was trying not to stare.

The BLU Medic smiled as she draped the pale blue fabric of her lab coat over her arm and unbuttoned her blue vest. She wasn't paying much attention to the small lake as she undressed, happily oblivious to the fact she was drawing close to a certain ex-Spy. Besides, she was well aware that her team's spy was currently dealing with a rather unpleasant reaction to being inoculated against bubonic plague. She chuckled darkly, amused that she had gotten revenge for him peeping yet again. He really should have listened the first time when she had given him one against tetanus.

Oblivious was also a good word to describe the BLU currently occupying the lake. He was currently more interested in enjoying the feel of the sun on his face (something he had missed when he was playing the role of the Spy) than listening for three random people to invade his home. No one ever came out here; it was why the BLU Medic had dumped him here in the first place. Apparently, even though the experiment his supposed "ally" had performed on him had been rather successful from the unfortunate victim's perspective, apparently the mad scientist of a doctor hadn't thought so. Which only lead to him getting dumped unceremoniously into the secluded lake. With a sigh, the ex-BLU tipped his head back and attempted to use the water to at least slick his hair back so it would stay out of his face for a few minutes.

The RED Scout ignored the Medic who was openly not trying to cover his eyes. She looked over the lake making sure no-one was there before swimming out into the open. There she floated on her back, having no care in the world. She cursed the BLU Spy mentally, hoping that he didn't mess with her wardrobe again. She couldn't see it very well but there was a blur of a person on the other side of the lake.

The Blu Medic heard a splash as she dropped her pants, so she narrowed her eyes and looked at the source. It took her a moment to collect her wits, but seeing the back of a head she didn't recognize was not a good thing. She screamed, grabbing her coat and holding it up to hide her body from the stranger's sight.

To say that the sudden scream scared the crap out of the poor ex-BLU was a drastic understatement. He whirled, releasing a shout of his own on instinct, which turned into a shriek as he realized there was a girl, no, a woman, standing on the bank behind him, obviously wearing nothing because of how she covered herself with a coat. His automatic reaction was to jerk back and cover his eyes while attempting to dive under water in order to get away from the strange girl who had discovered him. His second reaction was to dread that she thought he was trying to spy on her (which could have been true two years ago if she was on RED, but as it was…). He was a gentleman after all, and he really didn't want the woman to think him otherwise, even if he would rather she had not discovered him in the first place… His attempted escape was thwarted when he discovered there was another naked woman no more than a few feet away on his other side. How he hadn't noticed them before they got that close, he had no idea. It didn't matter; he would make sure it didn't happen again. He squeaked slightly in surprise and attempted to flee again, though this time it was a rather large rock that thwarted his escape. He clutched his now bleeding nose and swore in French. "Sacré bleu!" Today was already turning out crappy…

To say the least she flipped. She heard a scream and then another. This was not a good way to know she was not alone. She saw a man swim past and tripped over something squishy, and long… She was known to be squeamish and girly. "Eaweeee! What the **** was that?" She yelled as she scrambled up and out of the lake. She didn't really mind the man, since she was surrounded by them all the time. But the squishy thing reminded her of jello.

The Medic was surprised to hear two echoing screams, but she hastily tugged on the coat (and buttoned it of course) and darted into the water to find the sources of the cries. She had left her weapons on the shore, but that was unimportant. She just hoped that whoever the two people were, they wouldn't try to attack her. That would be unfortunate. Especially since the man had been just as startled to her as she had been to see him. She froze when she recognized the scout though, a very unhappy swear dropping from her lips as she backpedalled and tripped over what she assumed to be algae and went down. Unfortunately, since she had fallen backwards, she hadn't had a chance to scream before water went into her open mouth. She stood up again, coughing and sputtering like a drowned rat.

This was officially the worst day currently on record. He had had the ink scared out of him (quite literally, which was somewhat embarrassing even if it was a now natural reaction to fear), ran into a rock face-first, had one of his poor tentacles stepped on and another tripped over. He didn't want to jinx himself, but honestly, how could today get worse? Oh right, he was a freaking tentacle monster, trapped in a lake for the past two years. That's how. He ducked his head under the water, curling his abused tentacles close to his body to avoid further harm, and continued swearing in French while clutching his nose. The cool water helped and his swearing was reduced to a string of bubbles. What could he say, he was (as previously stated) a gentleman and loathed swearing in front of a lady. In this case two. Barely clothed and apparently trying to bathe ladies, but ladies none the less! Yes, even if both had just sworn rather nastily before abusing his poor limbs. He peeked one eye open as the first popped up from the water and spluttered rather like a drowning cat. Perhaps now would be a great time to disappear back into the lake…

The now scared to death Scout, hugged a tree.

"What the ******* hell was that?" She screamed over and over. She looked at the water hoping the squishy thing was gone. Then she spotted it, an octopus! But it was a man too! That's it! Never again! She was never going to bathe in a lake again! The Medic that was with her came running up. "Vhut is it Eza?" He asked running up to her. Then he took in the whole picture. Her… Naked… In a tree. He started laughing, and almost enough to roll on the ground.

"Sie! Who ah jou?" she demanded, once she got to her feet and was firmly planted of course, "Vhy are jou in se water? Und vhat is jour class? Jou are not vun of my teammates. Pyro has short hair on my team, so he is not jou."

He winced. So much for disappearing… The strange girl had begun firing questions at him faster than a Heavy could shoot his Minigun. God dammit…

"Ehhh… My name is Altair…" He mumbled, hands still clutching his injured nose and trying to keep the bleeding to a minimum. Unfortunately this also slurred and jumbled his speech. "And Ah am not on any team… Well, Ah used to be, but not anymore anyway…" So his class didn't really matter that much anyway. He was still politely looking away, as the white coat she had thrown over herself was now soaked through and… Well… Clinging in certain places he'd rather not stare at. He did sneak a quick glance at her, mostly attempting to discern what class she was. Seeing as he had not had any contact with anyone for two years, and had attempted to erase the majority of his memories of BLU to keep himself sane, he couldn't place her accent. His gaze quickly swept over her so he wasn't accused of staring, but in his haste he nearly missed the neat little patch on her arm depicting a blue cross. Wait, this woman was a…

"GET ZE HELL AWAY FROM ME MEDIC!" He cried and dove into the water as quickly as he possibly could, ignoring his nose and bruised tentacles in favor of escaping the BLU Medic. There was no way in hell he was hanging around anywhere there was a Medic. Especially a BLU one.

"Ah! Vait!" She splashed after him when she caught sight of blue and something else. She didn't quite understand what the other thing was, but she wasn't about to let this opportunity to discover what it was go. She tripped, her hand brushing against something as she fell. It was slimy and sliding away, so she did the first thing she could think of. She grabbed it.

Seeing as his head was currently underwater, Altair's shriek as the Medic tripped and grabbed onto one of his tentacles was more a burst of bubbles than an actual cry. He struggled, attempting to pull free of her unusually strong grip as panic threatened to overwhelm him. He was not going back to that place. He was not going to let himself be cut open and apart again. How could the sadistic freaks called Medics think that he would allow them to turn him into more of a freak than they already had! The last one had taken the lower half of his body away and replaced it with a damn octopus for Christ's sake! What more could they want from him? He thrashed in her grip and used his other tentacles to pry her off of him so he could escape. The moment he had realized she was a Medic, he was having nothing to do with her. Lady or not.

At the sudden sensation of being grabbed, she gasped. Since she did so underwater, she released the object to grab at her throat and attempted to stand to choke out the water she had unwittingly inhaled. Unfortunately, the struggles were probably the worst thing she could have done since she had no idea if the thing was going to let her go and she was already disoriented from her fall. As in, she couldn't tell up from down. And when underwater, that was a seriously bad thing.

At the sound of frantic gurgling, he paused ever so slightly in his flight. …Damn him being a well-raised French gentleman. A tiny voice in his head insisted on inserting 'backstabbing' into the mix, but he ignored it. Spy he may have been, but he wasn't anymore. He groaned and went after the flailing woman as she managed to work her way deeper in the water instead of to the surface as she had planned. This time he was sure to keep his extra appendages as far from her as it was physically possible, and grabbed her arm before shooting the two of them to the surface. He intended to dump her where the water was shallow enough she could stand, then take off as fast as he could swim for the deepest crevice in the whole lake.

"Oh mein Gott im Himmel…" Instead of letting him just deposit her in a shallow area, once she had coughed all the water out of her lungs, she clung to him with a frightened whimper and trembled with nerves. She had no idea what that was that grabbed her, but she was not about to let go of the person who seemed to have frightened it away, "V-vhat on ears vas sat?"

Great. Just freaking great. It was a bit difficult to dump someone who was currently clinging to your torso for dear life. Hiding from you without knowing it was actually you. Freaking wonderful. And how does one explain, hysterical person to hysterical person, that what they had grabbed was actually you, and what had grabbed them back was also you. …He really just wanted to go back to the bottom of the lake and hide now thank-you-very-much!

"Sat… Erm… Stay away from sat. Eet's not friendly… Now, if you'd kindly let go…?" So I can run (metaphorically) and hide? Kthnx.

"Nnngh…" she shook her head and clung tighter. No way in heaven or hell was she going to let go. Not when there was an unfriendly creature in the water! She really hated not knowing things. A small part of her was demanding to know why he was able to scare the thing away and what the hell it was, but she was more interested in the 'he saved my life so I really don't want to be away from him at all' thing, "I don't vant to. Jou scared it avay and I don't vant it to grab me again…"

Urgh… She wasn't going to let go anytime soon. And she had yet to realize the 'thing in the water' was actually him… Which he really didn't want anyway. And any second now she was going to glance down or brush up against one of his tentacles and she was ONLY WEARING A QUITE THIN AND TOTALLY SOAKED COAT AT THE MOMENT! He was panicking in so many ways right now, he was really surprised that he could think coherently. Or put together a simple sentence.

"Ma'am, eet is not going to come back and if jou leave ze lake eet can not follow jou. Zis I can gaurentee." He carefully crawled up the slight incline toward the edge of the water, praying every second that she wouldn't look down. If he could convince her to let go of him at the edge of the water, he could hopefully get away fast enough that she wouldn't be able to catch him once she realized he was the 'thing'. Hopefully.

"But… Vhat if it grabs me anyvays?" she asked, looking at him fearfully before looking away with an embarrassed blush, "I can't svim vell… I vish my Spy vasn't such a pervert. Sen I vouldn't be here in se first place. He keeps cloaking and hiding vhen se ossers are finished. I heard sat se vun before him vas nice, but he vanished vun day. I vish he had been se vun I came vis instead."

Okay… So maybe this Medic wasn't as bad as he'd thought… But she was still a Medic! They liked taking things apart and putting them back together the wrong way! He had enough experience in that realm to know there was no freaking way in hell he was ever going back. However, he couldn't help but offer a weak smile when she mentioned the previous Spy and wishing he had been her Spy rather than the one she had. Even being wanted by someone who didn't know him and was currently terrified by the lower half of his body was nice after being forgotten for two years.

If he was correct in his guestimations, that would mean that the forever cursed BLU Medic who had turned him into the monster he currently was had died soon after dumping his 'failed' experiment into the lake. Honestly, it pissed him off a little; knowing that had the Medic kept him around a few days, his team would have at least known what had happened to him. Maybe someone would have been able to help, but no, Medic had to get rid of him only days before dying. Made him hate the dead man even more.

"Zat Spy is an idiot." He scoffed. "Zere is nevah any reason to behave illy in front of a lady. Not even a lady who insists she is not one und acts like a man." There was absolutely no excuse for his behavior.

"Ah…" she turned an even darker shade of red and ducked her head down, closing her eyes and trying not to let him see how embarrassed she was getting at his words. She was used to her French teammate's rather… coarse pickups and not so much used to actually being treated like a gentleman would treat a lady. Not that she would believe him after a certain incident that had happened when they had been travelling on the train, "I am afraid sat he is incorrigible. No matter how many times I give him vaccinations, he von't stop acting unruly. He is vorse sen a Scout! I sometimes vish somesing bad vould happen to him!"

Altair cracked a smile at her outburst. That was really the worst she could think of? 'Something bad'? He almost laughed. If that was really the worst she had, what on Earth did he have to fear? A needle more than likely, with how she talked of vaccinations for her unruly Spy. Who he had a very strong desire to show what could happen if you messed with a Medic. Or the Medic took an strange, obsessive, scientific interest in you.

"Tish, 'e will get what is coming to 'im Ah'm sure. Eventually everyone does," He scowled at the water, under which his tentacles could be rather clearly seen. "Whezeh it 'appens to jour satisfaction is an entirely different mattah." He muttered sourly before sighing and continuing to carefully crawl for land. Now that he thought about it, he could have changed his form when he was first seen and avoided all this panic, though now that she was so damn close he didn't stand a chance of getting away with it without her noticing. Damn. Alright, just keep her talking and focused on you rather than the ground. You can do that.

"Bah. I don't like my Spy at all. He steals Sniper's hat, antagonizes scout, mocks my heavy and put my first coat in se vash wish se team's unmentionables!" She scowled, grip tightening slightly with her agitation. She really didn't like her teammate at all, "I hope he… he… falls off the roof of se bridge and breaks somesing. And I von't heal him!"

He really couldn't help it. He didn't want to… but he burst out laughing anyway. He tried very hard to keep himself as still as possible when he did, both to avoid jostling her as she was clinging very close and wearing very little, and to keep his tentacles from thrashing around as he laughed. It felt nice. He hadn't had reason to laugh in… Well since his Medic drugged him and decided cutting him up and experimenting on him was a good idea. Which was over two years. Pretty sad honestly. But what could be done about it.

"Ah'm sure 'e vould treat jou wis greater respect if jou did zat. Or didn't. Whichever." He shook his head, still grinning from the laugher.

"But sen I vould feel bad…" she sighed. It was hard being a Medic who actually listened to the Hippocratic oath, "Maybe I vill just give him a rabies shot again. Or trick him into eating Demoman's food. Sat is alveys amusing. Jou are nice! Vhat is jour name? Mine is Alexis Roth."

"Jou're an odd Medic. Every one Ah've ever known liked causing pain. What was eet 'e used to say? 'Ze healing ees not as rewarding as ze 'urting' Ah zink." He scowled again. He really needed to stop thinking about the ex-Medic, especially since the bastard was gone and he no longer had to worry constantly that he would come back to toy with him again. "Ah suppose ze 'monster' distracted jou when Ah told jou my name zen," He said with another smile. "Altair. And Ah'm not really on a team, in case jou were wondering."

"Vha? Oh! I vasn't vondering…" she admitted sheepishly, letting go with one hand to rub the back of her neck. It paused though when her leg brushed up against something she certainly wasn't expecting. She Looked down slowly, afraid that the thing was going to grab both of them and stared. Well… That certainly explained a lot. She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again. There really was no point in yelling that he was a … not human person… But seriously… Come on! "Das ist … vat-vat is se vord… Erstaunlich! A-amazing! Jou are even more cool sen I sought!"


	2. Chapter 2

Still don't own TF2 or the characters : I still do own the people we've stuck in their clothing~

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><p>Altair chuckled when she sheepishly admitted that she hadn't even been wondering which team he was on, considering she knew he was French because of the accent (which would lead most to assume Spy), knew he wasn't her Spy, and thought he was human. The chuckle died off as he realized she had finally looked down. God dammit, and they were only a few feet from shore and she had been being nice to him too! The stunned silence wasn't helping matters either…<p>

"Erm… Please don't panic? Si'l vous plait?" She cut him off, still staring at his extra appendages with an expression he couldn't see from this angle. Oh god and they had been getting along so nicel-The thought was cut off as she proceeded to call him amazing and spout about how he was even cooler than she had thought. "…What…? Jou… Ah zought jou were scared of ze zing in ze lake! Even eef eet is me… Still!" He spluttered, rather confused. One moment she was afraid of his tentacles, the next she was going on about how awesome they were! Even if it was better than panicking, she was… Bizarre. Absolutely bizarre!

"Jou told me sat se sing vas unfriendly," she pointed out with a cheerful grin, "But I talked vis jou and I sink jou are very friendly. Besides, I vould not haff run screaming even If I had nevah met jou. If I did not know jou, I vould have had Heavy come fish for jou and cut jou open for examination. But sen I vould not have found out how nice and kind and sveet jou are."

"Oui! For good reason! Ze general zoughts about Spies combined vis a Tentacle Monster? Why would anyone want me for somezing other zan cutting up-" Her admission than she would have had her Heavy fish him out and would have killed him cutting him up (for the second time in his life), made him go sheet white and freeze completely. A dark cloud of ink clouded the water around him but he was a little busy fearing for his life to care at the moment. Though her next sentence made him flush slightly instead. Well, thank God he had decided pulling her out of the water was a good idea. He really didn't want to be reduced to nothing more than calamari. Hopefully she wouldn't try to involve her Heavy… He didn't want to be stuck in a net either…

"…Jou ah confusing. Und bipolah." He shook his head, face still tinted slightly red, and continued on his way toward land where he wouldn't have to worry about her drowning herself. He didn't bother trying to hide his tentacles anymore, so he could actually move at a moderate pace now.

"I like jou! I vant to take jou home vis me," She smiled cheerfully, her reddish-brown eyes crinkling closed with the size of her smile. Altair really was a cute guy. Especially with that little bit of red staining his cheeks. If only he were human. And her Spy rather than that perverted Arschloch she was stuck with, "I vill haff Engineer make jou a nice big tank und everysing und ve vill be good friends. Und jou can meet mein Heavy. He vill like jou I sink. And if jou are good vis chess, he vill vant to play since I am not very good at games like sat."

"…" Take him home with her? Put him in a tank? Ok, so if she did take him back to the BLU base he would kind of need the tank, but it was still at least mildly insulting! Then again, at least she wasn't going on about cutting him up and experimenting on him… "Chess? Jour 'Eavy plays chess?" He blinked in confusion. "I would assume zen zat my 'Eavy ees long since gone zen. 'E 'ad no idea 'ow to play chess." He shook his head and gave her a mildly annoyed glare. "Ze tank makes me sound like jour pet zough. Ah'm not sure Ah approve of zat…" He sighed. "Eet is still preferable to being cut up… Again…"

A cry of fear was heard from over by the lake. What on earth was going on? A man about 6 feet tall walked over to see what was up.

"Bloody Hell! S'arry about walkin' in on you like that…" He said at the sight of a young girl and a man awfully close. He turned awkwardly away, then he looked back wondering if this was why he heard a yell… In that case it would be bad to leave. "You wou'dn know why there was a s'ream? And ehhh did you know miss that that man is a octo?" That happened to be the first thing he noticed about the odd pair… He had seen many odd things so this didn't move him much. "Oh and I'm Arther, I'm the BLU teams Soldier… Nice to meet ya." He did a lazy British salute.

"Ah… Hallo…?" She blinked. Then she blinked again. It took her a moment to gather her thoughts, and try not to think about being thought of as being _with_the tentacled man, but the first thing she thought about the… really fucking tall Soldier, "Oh mein Gott! He's a Hippie! Und vhat are sey feeding se recruits? I svear, se next person bettah be about se same size as me or I vill be very cross!"

Why the hell was he so damn easy to sneak up on today? He was supposed to sneak up on people! Not the other way around! Damn it!

"…Erm…" He glanced at the small Medic he was still carrying, blushed a much brighter red than the small flush he already had, then stared at the Soldier as he continued speaking. He gave no response when he finished, not even when Alexis spazzed over the British, Hippie Soldier and then proceeded to rant about everyone being taller than her. His brain… Wasn't cooperating. British, Hippie, and Soldier were words that by no means belonged in a sentence together. Except when saying how there was no way in hell a Soldier was British or a Hippie. The only way it worked was one Soldier insulting another by calling them either. His mind was simply no longer processing the highly confusing and freaking impossible events of the day. It just wasn't.

He smiled at the girl and walked over closer.

"S'arry about b'in tall… Can't help it. And I'm not a Hippie. I'm not into the whole save the world. I'd just rather shoot the idiots and be done with it by tea. Oh and your old Soldier went missing or something like that… So I'm the new BLU Soldier." He took off the heavy jacket he was wearing and held it out to her. "I have to admit white is your color miss. And Octo its rude to stare ya know," He laughed slightly and backed off. He didn't want his new medic to hate him for being overly gentlemanly or something like that…

At the comment about her… choice of attire, Alexis turned beet-red and snatched his jacket to pull it on rather quickly. She had honestly forgotten about the fact she had originally came here to get a bath. And now it was coming to bite her on the ass. Quite hard since She had accidentally flashed her new friend and her team's new Soldier was a long-haired Brit who seemed not to care too much about the usual things… Like calling her a Nazi or something. Not that that was a bad thing of course, it was just… Not something she was used to.

Altair shook his head and set Alexis down in the ankle-deep water they were now in. Hopefully she wouldn't be able to drown herself in such shallow water, but he wasn't going to say anything for fear he'd jinx it and she would somehow find a way to do just that. Then he crossed his arms and shot a glare at the Soldier. Not only was he stealing Alexis's attention (which he was fully willing to admit to himself he was craving after being completely alone for two years) he kept calling him 'Octo', hadn't even asked his name.

"Ze name ees Altair. Eet ees generally considered polite to ask for a name, instead of making one up jourself." Not that he wasn't grateful for the lack of being shot at and yelled at and called a Maggot; this man was just throwing him off. He knew how to deal with a normal Soldier. Salute, call him 'Sir', do what he wants you to, and you'll be fine. This guy he had no clue how to deal with. Well, that and he was pure-blood French. He naturally didn't know how to get along with a Brit.

He looked over at the man in the water.

"S'arry again, I was th'inkin of the lady first little Octo man. She needed the attention more than yourself at the moment." He walked up to the man in the water and offered a hand. "Not much use of not b'in friends yeah? A friend of the little lady is a friend of mine." He smiled and glanced back at the girl, who he had to admit to himself was quite sexy in his jacket. "Anythin' else the little lady needs?"

"I sink I need a sit down…" she admitted, feeling way too confused for her own good. She had no idea how much more confused her new friend was, but at least this Soldier seemed rather friendly… Well to her at least. But then again, French and Brits never really got along well anyways. She sighed and smiled at Altair, trying to sooth him in case the Brit got him too riled up. She remembered how strong those tentacles were and she really didn't want to have to send for a new Soldier so soon after getting one.

He didn't bother with shaking the man's hand with his own, gripping the offered limb with one of his tentacles instead. The grip was rather strong, and he hadn't uncrossed his arms or let up on the glare, mentally cursing out this… outrage in every language he knew. And he knew a good many. He did not, however, crush the Brit's hand, seeing as he wasn't really on the BLU team and Alexis would likely be annoyed at the least if he did that. An annoyed Medic, who had so far been nice and not stabbing him with sharp objects or cutting him up, was never a good thing.

"Pleased to meet ze new Soldier." He said, sarcasm lacing every word as he let go with the tentacle. Maybe he could somehow intimidate the damn Brit into not being annoying and maybe going away… Though with a Soldier that was probably too much to hope for in general.

He eyed the man's tentacles and decided not to say anything about that…

"S'ow what brings you lovely couple out here?" He winked at the medic, and went back to the Octo. "Ya both know that we are joining another team right?" He was missing his little Pyro friend and really didn't like this French Octo.

"Ve ah going to be having more people?" She groaned and held her hands to her face. At least she was going to have another Medic to talk with. Maybe he could help her think of things to do to her perverted Spy. She really didn't want to do anything too bad, but she had no imagination.

The tiny BLU Medic wandered about near the lake, wondering how he'd lost Torri. He had only ran off to discover where all the voices were coming from! She usually kept better track of him than this… Oh well, she knew where he was heading and would probably be there by the time he made it anyway. He wandered toward the three voices he could currently hear coming from just beyond that rock. Hmm, a British accent certainly wasn't something he heard very often. He rounded the rock and stopped dead. There was a random guy in the water, along with a barely clothed female Medic. And a Soldier. Who was the one speaking with a British accent.

"Vas…?" It was only then that he noticed the tentacles on the guy. A cry of fear escaped him and he made to run. He had heard tales of tentacle monsters in the sewers of various forts, including 2fort. He hadn't believed them, but there was no way he was going anywhere near that… Thing!

For RED's sake, where did that Medic go? Obviously to the lake, but really? Why had he felt the need to run off and disappear on her? She grumbled underneath her gasmask. That boy was going to get himself in trouble. Again. It was as if he had an 'abuse me please!' sign taped to his back! Why were some voices at the lake so damn interesting anyway? They tended to avoid other people when they were together anyway. Unless of course it was her Medic and Heavy. Or Nathan, but he not only knew about Nikki, he also thought he was too tiny to be any threat and approved of her protecting him from his own team.

A cry of fear instantly sent her into over-protective mode and she ran toward the lake and the cry. She knew Nikki's voice and his fearful cries were as familiar to her as her flamethrower. On her arrival, she quickly noted there were two BLUs in the area, as well as an unidentifiable person half in the water. …Who must have been the one to scare Nikki as he had tentacles… Well, that was weird… Nikki ran smack into her while trying to flee and she stood in front of him protectively. He was hers and they would not be allowed to hurt him, she thought as she brandished her ever-present flamethrower. She wouldn't attack unless they did, but if they did they would be quick to burn and her tense stance and raised weapon communicated this highly effectively.

Altair smirked at Arthur's mildly disgusted look when he shook his hand with a tentacle, then scowled at him for his question. He decided not to answer, however, as Alexis didn't and he had been distracted by another fearful cry, which startled him and made him jump. When he saw the source, he immediately shifted to hide somewhat behind Alexis. Not another BLU Medic! One was enough, even if that one was rather nice.

"Agh! Non, get away!" Though the appearance of a RED Pyro scared him significantly more, considering it was aiming it's flamethrower at him. His immediate reaction was to dive for the deeper water and peek only the top of his head out. He couldn't be burned when underwater… So there!

All of a sudden there was a scream from over by the trees.

"Bloody Hell what was that?" He saw the tail end of a medic lab coat. Then out came a RED Pyro, which stood in front of the tiny BLU medic. "God Save the Queen! I'll save you Nick!" He said as he ran up and stood between the medic and the pyro. "Maggot get away from the medic!" He said as he pulled out his shovel out of nowhere, and glared at the pyro. "It's ok little Nick you are safe!"

"A-Altair wai-!" What on- Oh GOD! Alexis wasn't so worried about the blue, especially since the accent was German which meant Medic, but a big red blob was definitely not good. At all. She squealed in terror and immediately ran in the direction Altair went. Due to the fact she was still rather unused to the slick mud, she went down with a drowned out cry and began flailing again. Especially since the coat the Soldier had given her was too damn heavy once it got wet and was weighing her down like a diving belt.

Altair had realized he had left poor Alexis on the shore almost before she had called out to him. Aw damn it, now she was mad at hi- Never mind, she was busy flailing in the water again. He would have sighed if he wasn't busy being frightened of the Pyro currently having a showdown with the Soldier. Instead he swam over and pulled her up so her head was at least above the water, keeping her there with both his arms and extra limbs while he moved deeper where the Pyro couldn't get them. He wasn't going to let it get her or him. Fire was painful, damn it!

Torri growled at the Soldier in front of her. She let no one get in between her and her Medic! Especially not some impertinent, thick-headed Soldier! She wasn't afraid of some pathetic shovel!

"Back off Nikki, bastard!" She fired a blast of fire at him and quickly stepped to the side, both to avoid being bashed in the head and to reach around the idiot BLU for Nikki.

"Agh! V-Vhat ah jou-?" The Soldier suddenly threatening Torri and calling him by his name was confusing as hell. Why would someone on his team even bother trying to protect him…? Oh dear, Torri was pissed. Not that that was surprising, just… Bad. This Soldier was going to be torched or hacked into pieces with her axe… Speaking of which… He eagerly took her hand and dodged behind her when she held it out to him, still afraid of the Soldier even if he was trying to protect him.

"Don't 'urt me, Herr Soldier!" He cried, taking cover behind Torri and squeezing his eyes shut. Maybe following voices was a bad idea after all…

"Wha…? I'm not gunna' hurt you Nick! Are you a spy! Why are you behind the RED PYRO?" he was sooooo damned confused. What was his brother doing here and why was he with a RED pyro? He stepped to the side avoiding the fire, and mumbled under his breath "Bloody Pyro." Stupid freakin… "I'm tryin' to protect my brother, so you best get out of the way." He was too involved in trying to keep his brother out of a fight to notice the commotion behind him.

Screams where she was not? That was not right! The RED Spy walked over to the screams.

"Vhat iz going on here? Jou are all making a ruckus over ere." She said in a thick French accent. She glanced over all the BLU people and then the one RED. "Jou in trouble? I can help if jou want." She said to the pyro. She was in a good mood so there was not blood…yet.

Alexis whimpered as she clung to her new friend. She did not approve of the newcomer, especially since it was the Frenchwoman. She scowled at the enemy blobs, making sure to hold onto Altair so she didn't sink in the deep water. Next time, she was bringing Sergei. At least he wouldn't peek while she was cleaning. And he could bring his chess set and play with Altair. And then no REDs would bother her… Hopefully.

Altair glared at the new RED. He had a thing against RED Spies. Honestly, how could he not? They thought they could do his job! As she was also a lady, however, he didn't say anything, instead shifting so that Alexis was slightly behind him, where the Spy couldn't get anywhere near her, and hissing. He absently hoped she didn't mind that he was partially holding her with a few of his tentacles…

Brother? What on Earth was that Soldier on? He was an only child!

"Jou 'ave me confused vith somevun else! I don't 'ave a brozah! I'm an only child!" He whimpered and ducked further behind Torri. Why oh why did everyone frighten him so? He only wanted to help his team and be with Torri; what had he ever done wrong to the world?

The flamethrower was lowered slightly and Torri tipped her head to the side curiously. Nikki had told her he was an only child, and this guy sounded like a Brit. Why was he insisting that he was protecting his brother then?

"He's not your brother, he's my Nikolai! Back off, ya tea guzzling maniac!" She raised her flamethrower menacingly again, growling angrily at him. She didn't expect him to understand her with her mask, but if he continued to attempt to get between her and Nikki she was fully prepared to rip it off and scream at him clearly.

He noticed the difference in voice patterns since he could understand the pyro's mumbles.

"Oh… I'm s'arry you look just like him… And s'arry if I frightened you miss," he put his shovel away and backed off. The RED spy on the other hand he didn't even notice. "Ya see my brother looks like you and is named Nick… That's why I acted as I did."

The spy checked her watch to see if she was cloaked… Nope. Well she would have to find a way to punish them all. They all seemed to like this Nick kid so… yes. She cloaked and snuck up behind him.

"Jou are affly cute no?" she whispered in his ear with her gun to his back. Honestly she wanted him to yell out and she could have some fun! Since the pyro couldn't burn her.

"Vas… Vas sat a Pyro?" she asked, clinging to him and attempting to peer over his shoulder. She really did not approve. At all. After this, she was going to make doubly sure that Engineer makes a tank and brings her new friend home. Whether he liked it or not. It just was not safe in this place. Especially since there was going to be a bunch of REDs sniffing around and this tentacle monster was hers. And she didn't like sharing her things. At all. Besides… "I left my glasses vis se rest of my clothes… And my veapons…"

Nikki relaxed slightly when the Soldier put away his shovel and apologized. But only slightly; he was still hiding safely behind Torri. …Though the French whisper in his ear reminded him that 'safely' was a relative term when Spies were involved.

"S-S…" He trembled when he felt the muzzle of a gun pressed into his back and cried out for Torri. "Spy Torri!" He dared not move for fear of being shot, but he trusted Torri to know exactly what to do and take immediate action. He just hoped this Spy who he couldn't see was easier to deal with then the damn BLU one that had repeatedly attempted to kill them both…

"Oui… Zat is a Pyro… And a RED Spy now…" He glanced at her, curious as to why she wouldn't be able to tell, at the same time she sheepishly told him that her glasses were on the shore along with all her other stuff. Oh. That would explain why she was only registering red and not class. Dammit, if only he had his butterfly knives. But they were safely stored in his crevice at the bottom of the lake. Where he currently couldn't go because of the tiny BLU Medic clinging to him. Let's not drown the Medic that can't see, swim, or defend herself at the moment. Besides, she was nice to him, despite the tentacle monsterness and he would hate himself for life if he accidentally killed the first friend he had had in two years. So he'd just have to wait out the commotion for now and keep her safely in the water with him where the Pyro couldn't reach. The Spy might attempt to, but he'd like to see her try to either keep up with him or beat him in his home.

Torri felt Nikki tense as he clung to her, not a good sign. Considering he was stuttering fearfully and she heard the faint hiss of a Spy decloaking behind her, it was worse than at first glance. She spun on instinct, throwing Nikki in front of her and swinging her flamethrower around to bear on the Spy. Unfortunately, the flames simply washed over her, as the Spy turned out to be a RED. So, she simply let go of the flamethrower with one hand and decked her in the face.

"Back the hell off of my Medic! I will hurt you!"

Spy. Not the best thing to hear yelled by a little medic. He didn't know what to do without getting the pyro or the medic hurt. So he just stood by the little medic to make sure nothing would happen to him. His shovel was out to hit the stupid spy if she came any closer. "Ha nice hit little lady!" he looked down at the medic. "Don't worry kiddo."

"Awww Dearie jou didn't have to do zat." She said in a sweet voice. Her cloak came off. She grabbed the pyros's hand and twisted it behind her in a chicken wing. "Now look what you got yourself into. Ze poor little guy, what should I do to jour friend?" She smiled cruelly and drew out her butterfly knife with the other hand. She slit a small cut across the neck of the pyro's mask, causing a small bead of blood to form. She then licked the blood off the knife. "More oui?" She smiled at the small boy. Ohh how she would enjoy this. How she loved the sight of blood and pain! She never got enough. She was hoping to scare the wits out of this little kiddo. What a fun play toy he would make! All in due time.


End file.
